JOURNAL
A Room With a View
Bill Barksdale, Columnist
I was out thinning my apple tree today. Last year neither apple tree made apples after an abundant year before. This year they’re loaded with very young baby apples, way too many. When this happens I’ve learned it’s necessary to go to each cluster and thin them out to 2 or 3. There are often 8 or 10 of these young apples in a cluster but a simple light tug and the ones that aren’t going to make it just fall in my hand. The others I thin-back.
Recently some folks with two young children bought the house behind ours. As I was out pruning the tree I could hear the kids playing outside with Mom & Dad doing something and you could tell from the exchange between kids & parents that these people love their children. There was a lightness, a supportive loving exchange. It made me so happy to listen to this chatter.
So many kids grow up in houses with substance abuse or cold parents who seem to have no idea how to hug and encourage their children. Many folks have emotional issues. It’s quite common, as we all know. It’s likely they’re just apeing the behavior they grew up with. Abuse often gets passed from one generation to the next. What to do?
Sexual Assault - Project Sanctuary serves Mendocino County with many domestic issues. In Ukiah they are at (707) 462-9196, and in Ft Bragg at (707) 961-1507. There’s also help for veterans & their families at a Project Sanctuary in Colorado. Vets are a very high-risk group for suicide and domestic abuse. Call them at 855-838-8255. There’s also the Mendocino County “Warm Line” for people who just need to talk about depression & such, 24/7 Free. Not a medical phone line, but some help. They’re at 1-855-838-0404. Linea de Crisis Llamada Gratis 24/7, 1-855-838-0404.
The other evening we were watching the wonderful 1985 film version of British writer, E.M. Forster’s novel A Room With A View. Ruth Prawer Jhabvla wrote a brilliant screen play and the film became a surprise big hit in that year. It’s a film about making the right choice for yourself and not being bullied into ignoring your intuition.
E.M. Forster who lived 1879-1970, had seen WW 1, WW2 and the comings and goings of many authoritarian and fascist states in the world, just as we do today. In an old interview he once said, “I do not believe in belief. This is an age of faith and there are so many militant creeds that, in self-defense one has to form a creed of one’s own. Tolerance, good-temper and sympathy are no longer enough in a world which is rent by religious and racial persecution, in a world where ignorance rules and science, who ought to have rule, is a subservient pimp. Tolerance, good temper and sympathy – they are not matter really, and if the human race is not to collapse, they must come to the forefront before long.”
Such profound words of wisdom that still apply today, perhaps more now than ever.
I love hearing those children laughing and playing with their loving parents across the back fence. I enjoy seeing more young parents in Willits with their children. For a while it almost seemed like Willits was aging faster and young families were leaving. But now I’m seeing families stay, and even others move into the area. Perhaps one important thing Covid-19 has shown us is that one doesn’t have to live in a big city. A small town has many gifts to offer.
I grew up in small towns, then I left for New York City and later San Francisco for about 20 years. They were exciting and I’m eternally grateful for the cultural abundance those places shared with me, but now I love our small town. I realize that many small businesses struggle. I admire the business owners that somehow make a go of it – their tenacity. They too, love this small town. It goes without saying that if you can support our small businesses, you are making this a better place to live, and a better place for old and young alike to live and thrive.
As wise old E.M. Forster said - tolerance, good-temper and sympathy are qualities humans must embrace in order to survive. It’s easy to get lost in the news of the day. Mass media has overloaded our lives with every bad thing that happens in this world, with precious little about the beauty, kindness and blessed solitude that exists. Those things don’t ‘sell soap’, as the old saying goes. Fear is a big-seller. Corporations, political parties and many religious organizations have known that for centuries.
“I do not believe in belief.” Unless those beliefs bring me a feeling of joy inside. You might say, “That’s OK for you!” That would be correct, for belief is an individual thing. Each of us chooses what to believe. Sometimes I choose well, sometimes not so. There’s always that march to a “different drummer” saying ‘This way is much happier. Try this way’. That’s intuition speaking. We’re taught to ignore it, but try listening. I’m still learning, still trying.
Bill Barksdale was inducted into the 2016 Realtor® Hall of Fame, and served as Chair of the County of Mendocino Assessment Appeals Board settling property tax disputes between the County Assessor & citizens and businesses. Read more of Bill’s columns on his blog at www.bbarksdale.com
