Real Estate Journal
REBIRTH
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
For forty years I’ve had a quote from the great dancer, Martha Graham, on my desk. She said “There is a vitality, a Life-Force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And, if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it.”
I was recently talking with a local real estate investor. He’s investing in commercial properties in town. He, like I, see a bright future for Willits. There’s good reason for our mutual optimism. The Bay Area is becoming too expensive for most people to live in. A starter condo in San Francisco is a million dollars. The medium-priced house in Santa Rosa is around seven-hundred-thousand dollars. Even a house in Ukiah is, on average, considerably more expensive than Willits.
In addition, we have a new state-of-the-art hospital. This at a time when small town hospitals are closing all over the country. Willits is also located in a beautiful part of the world. With our new downtown streets and sidewalks we have a kind of blank slate to reinvent our community to an extent.
After all, where are people going to move to? Mendocino County is one of the most affordable places to live in California, certainly on the western half of the state. Our area has a lot to offer in the way of creating a better life.
Oh, I’m not saying we don’t have challenges. We need to improve our schools and discipline in those schools. We have mental health and drug issues to deal with. We need to put a big effort into creating a lot more affordable housing. These are issues that most communities are dealing with.
Like any place or any life, there are challenges and obstacles. Obstacles stimulate analysis of your situation, and from that analysis come solutions. In his book The Obstacle Is the Way, author Ryan Holiday, talks about being aware of what you think about. Change what is in your power to change. Every obstacle has another aspect – a solution.
How you think about an obstacle is your choice. Ralph Waldo Emerson said “A man is what he thinks about”. In fact, making people aware of what they think about is the basis of virtually all great philosophies. Our actions are proceeded by our thoughts. If you let someone else do your thinking for you, one of the booby-traps of mass media, you ignore your intuition and become a slave to another person’s desires. That’s a frustrating and unsatisfying way to live life.
We live in a society where distraction has become a business. With the internet and instant communication, our attention is often diverted to thoughts and matters that matter little. Lies are perverted into false gods, leading you down a path that leads nowhere good.
Philosopher and Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, addressed this nearly two thousand years ago. He said “Busy yourself with but few things if you would be tranquil.” He went on to say “For most of what we say and do is unnecessary, and if a man leaves them out, he will have more leisure and less trouble….leave off not only unnecessary acts, but also unnecessary thoughts, for thus superfluous acts will not follow after.” I highly recommend that you keep a copy of Marcus Aurelius’ book of Meditations next to the bed. Read a single thought as you drift off to sleep.
The long and the short of this article is, choose to become part of the solution when it comes to making Willits a better place to live. There are a number of people and groups of people who are working on solutions. You can choose to join in or you can choose to do something to make things better on your own. Rebirth is a state of mind that you choose.
Finding peace within is like planting a garden. You plant one seed at a time, nurture that thought and let it grow into something that grows peace of mind and makes a better place to live.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty inc.
After over thirty years as a full-time real estate agent I have retired as an active agent and continue only as a referral agent. My blog is my thoughts about real estate and Life. Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc, my DRE#01106662.
Friday, November 15, 2019
WHERE OR WHEN
REAL ESTATE JOURNAL
WHERE OR WHEN
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
The haunting Rodgers and Hart song, Where Or When, muses on the prospect that the singer may have existed here before but can’t recall where or when. How would you live if you knew you had to return to a world that was the way you left it? Even if you don’t return, people will live in the world you are creating now, your children, others. Everything you do leaves its mark, creates the future.
Would you rent a house or apartment if it looked the way you left it when you moved out? If it looked that way would you pay full-price for the rent or expect a discount? Maybe you left it in great shape and expect to rent the same. I’ve seen many houses that tenants left in terrible condition costing the owner thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of dollars, to repair. You wonder why rents sometimes seem high? That’s a big reason.
What about pollution? Many people are very cavalier about polluting, dumping chemicals, not tuning up their car or truck so it belches out toxic fumes, dripping oil or antifreeze (which animals lick up and die from). Careless burning of materials, including plastics, making our air a toxic brew. Cigarettes, what can I say? If you want to kill yourself that’s your business but don’t kill me too – and by the way Pick Up Your Butt!
Plastic is a huge problem. This petroleum product takes thousands of years to breakdown, yet many people think little of carelessly throwing it away instead of recycling or using something less toxic. I recently bought a pie at a local store. After I ate the pie I was left with a large “clam-shell” plastic bottom & lid plus an aluminum pie plate. I cleaned it all up and returned it to the store manager with a note that, although I enjoyed the pie I wouldn’t be purchasing another one unless the packaging became more environmentally friendly.
There are certainly plenty of substitutes for plastic packaging. There are paper and cardboard to-go containers that break down quickly. Most egg cartons are made of paper. The pie could have been packaged in a cardboard container with a thin plastic window. At least most of it would dissolve quickly or be reused/ recycled.
How about making it a habit to have your own reusable to-go container in the car or with you when you go out to eat? Then you wouldn’t waste one that you will throw away when you get home.
Hundreds of thousands of jobs could be created in rust-belt, coal areas and all over our country simply by converting facilities to recycling centers or clean, safe energy production. It only makes sense to melt plastic down and reuse it, not throw it into the ocean or bury it in a dump. How stupid can you be when you could be creating jobs instead of wasting oil/plastic that can have a new and useful life? Not big enough corporate profits for a handful of greedy people? What’s more important, short-term profits for a few or your life?
I was born in Portland Oregon. Was there recently helping family move away. When I was a kid Portland was a pretty good place to live, except all the fish died in the polluted Willamette River. The State and City of Portland cleaned it up. Now it’s getting polluted again. Portland air is filthy. What used to take 15 minutes on the freeway now takes an hour, usually more, in bumper-to-bumper, suffocating traffic. Portland has a rich cultural life. Love that about it. Would I want to live there? No. Way
overpopulated/polluted. Watch out L.A. Other cities are catching up with your dismal living conditions.
Right now we’re seeing the burning of the Amazon rain forest, also known as the Lungs of the World because that forest cleans huge volumes of polluted air. Plants do that, or didn’t you know? Why the destruction? So a few can make short-term profits from methane-belching cattle and mining. Many of the world’s life-saving drugs come from plants found in the Amazon forest. When those plants are gone, so are solutions to many health problems.
Recently a news source revealed that a major American retailer was selling synthetic wood look-alike flooring made in China that violated U.S. standards for toxic chemicals. These products were knowingly mislabeled so they could be sold in the U.S. These products, it was discovered, emit deadly fumes in your home.
Endless war is a lousy job creation strategy. Not the world I want to come back to. Do you?
On the bright side, I recently visited Florence Oregon. Their old town is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I interviewed a woman involved with a revitalization group there who has convinced a reluctant city council that letting art lead the way to a
prosperous reinvention of the town is worthwhile. It’s working. The Florence old town is vibrant and filled with people who are enjoying it, spending their money there and creating jobs. Talk about a productive and life-affirming idea!
If you have another life to live in this world, or even thinking about generations to come, what kind of world do you want to contribute to?
As Lorenz Hart’s lyric says in Where Or When, “Things you do come back to you”.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
WHERE OR WHEN
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
The haunting Rodgers and Hart song, Where Or When, muses on the prospect that the singer may have existed here before but can’t recall where or when. How would you live if you knew you had to return to a world that was the way you left it? Even if you don’t return, people will live in the world you are creating now, your children, others. Everything you do leaves its mark, creates the future.
Would you rent a house or apartment if it looked the way you left it when you moved out? If it looked that way would you pay full-price for the rent or expect a discount? Maybe you left it in great shape and expect to rent the same. I’ve seen many houses that tenants left in terrible condition costing the owner thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of dollars, to repair. You wonder why rents sometimes seem high? That’s a big reason.
What about pollution? Many people are very cavalier about polluting, dumping chemicals, not tuning up their car or truck so it belches out toxic fumes, dripping oil or antifreeze (which animals lick up and die from). Careless burning of materials, including plastics, making our air a toxic brew. Cigarettes, what can I say? If you want to kill yourself that’s your business but don’t kill me too – and by the way Pick Up Your Butt!
Plastic is a huge problem. This petroleum product takes thousands of years to breakdown, yet many people think little of carelessly throwing it away instead of recycling or using something less toxic. I recently bought a pie at a local store. After I ate the pie I was left with a large “clam-shell” plastic bottom & lid plus an aluminum pie plate. I cleaned it all up and returned it to the store manager with a note that, although I enjoyed the pie I wouldn’t be purchasing another one unless the packaging became more environmentally friendly.
There are certainly plenty of substitutes for plastic packaging. There are paper and cardboard to-go containers that break down quickly. Most egg cartons are made of paper. The pie could have been packaged in a cardboard container with a thin plastic window. At least most of it would dissolve quickly or be reused/ recycled.
How about making it a habit to have your own reusable to-go container in the car or with you when you go out to eat? Then you wouldn’t waste one that you will throw away when you get home.
Hundreds of thousands of jobs could be created in rust-belt, coal areas and all over our country simply by converting facilities to recycling centers or clean, safe energy production. It only makes sense to melt plastic down and reuse it, not throw it into the ocean or bury it in a dump. How stupid can you be when you could be creating jobs instead of wasting oil/plastic that can have a new and useful life? Not big enough corporate profits for a handful of greedy people? What’s more important, short-term profits for a few or your life?
I was born in Portland Oregon. Was there recently helping family move away. When I was a kid Portland was a pretty good place to live, except all the fish died in the polluted Willamette River. The State and City of Portland cleaned it up. Now it’s getting polluted again. Portland air is filthy. What used to take 15 minutes on the freeway now takes an hour, usually more, in bumper-to-bumper, suffocating traffic. Portland has a rich cultural life. Love that about it. Would I want to live there? No. Way
overpopulated/polluted. Watch out L.A. Other cities are catching up with your dismal living conditions.
Right now we’re seeing the burning of the Amazon rain forest, also known as the Lungs of the World because that forest cleans huge volumes of polluted air. Plants do that, or didn’t you know? Why the destruction? So a few can make short-term profits from methane-belching cattle and mining. Many of the world’s life-saving drugs come from plants found in the Amazon forest. When those plants are gone, so are solutions to many health problems.
Recently a news source revealed that a major American retailer was selling synthetic wood look-alike flooring made in China that violated U.S. standards for toxic chemicals. These products were knowingly mislabeled so they could be sold in the U.S. These products, it was discovered, emit deadly fumes in your home.
Endless war is a lousy job creation strategy. Not the world I want to come back to. Do you?
On the bright side, I recently visited Florence Oregon. Their old town is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I interviewed a woman involved with a revitalization group there who has convinced a reluctant city council that letting art lead the way to a
prosperous reinvention of the town is worthwhile. It’s working. The Florence old town is vibrant and filled with people who are enjoying it, spending their money there and creating jobs. Talk about a productive and life-affirming idea!
If you have another life to live in this world, or even thinking about generations to come, what kind of world do you want to contribute to?
As Lorenz Hart’s lyric says in Where Or When, “Things you do come back to you”.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
AGREEMENTS
REAL ESTASTE JOURNAL
Agreements
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
One of the interesting things about my work as a real estate agent is, the people I serve are almost always making an important change in their lives. A big part of my job is to help them through these changes. They are starting a new job or career, retirement, someone has died or is going die soon, divorce, mental or physical decline, a new baby, taking care of a friend or relative, tenants have to let strangers look through their home which is about to be sold, a client may be very ill and/or needing to downsize. There are so many things that spur change, and those changes are usually accompanied by agreements.
Part of my job is to help people come to agreement.
Back in the mid 1980’s I helped to manage hospice facilities for AIDS patients. The agreement there was that I and others would be there with the people we cared for, to provide a safe place to live right up through their death. I also helped people begin to deal with their grief as their love ones died.
In my job as a real estate agent I help people come to agreement. We call it “a meeting of the minds”. An interesting phrase because it implies give and take, accepting change and other peoples’ needs as well as your own.
As an agent I help people reduce their agreements and changes, to writing. Sales agreements are contracts, agreements to do and not do specific things. How the change will happen and who does what is spelled out in the written agreement. Part of this agreement is how people will deal with things when they don’t agree, disputes. Mediation, arbitration and even law suits are part of the process at times. Most often, common sense prevails and parties come to agreement without these outside processes.
I deal most often with Purchase Agreements and Listing Agreements, having to do usually with homes and land also known as real estate, as opposed to personal property. Real Estate is commonly understood to be the land and that which is attached to it, normally buildings, but can also mean crops, water, roadways and easements. There’s another aspect to real estate called “the bundle of rights” which are the legal aspects of ownership of real property.
Real estate law is a specialized area in the practice of law. Some attorneys specialize only in real estate issues, while other attorneys know very little, if anything, about real estate law and its related issues.
One issue that comes up from time-to-time is when people made agreements years ago to buy land or a home together, but didn’t put in writing, the legal details about how those verbal agreements would work. I’ve heard clients say that “making it legal” implied lack of trust, therefore they didn’t “put it in writing”. But you know, it’s not a lack of trust, it’s just making things clear for yourself and each other.
Good business avoids problems and hurt feelings years later. People change. That’s unavoidable. Sometimes the real estate has to be sold because those partners are moving in different directions with their lives.
In California, which often leads the way in laws that other states later recognize as practical, all real estate sales must be in writing. Oral or verbal real estate agreements are not considered binding normally. I say normally, because sometimes a court of law can make decisions that can force legal remedies on unwritten real estate matters, things such as prescriptive rights.
I’m not qualified to provide legal advice so if you need help with legal issues please consult a qualified professional.
Tragically, there are situations where one person’s name was put on the Deed leaving another deserving party off. A deed is legal proof of who the owner(s) is/are. There may be an unmarried partner or others who contributed and are entitled to a share of the property, but their name wasn’t put in a written agreement. I know of cases where an unmarried partner was thrown out of their own home by distant relatives just because the detail of putting the partner in a will or trust or deed as the inheritor of the house was forgotten. Always prepare a will and/or trust if you own real estate. Also consider a written Partnership Agreement of some kind to clarify the agreement further, signed by all effected parties. It’s so important.
Putting in writing who owns the property and in what legal manner, sometimes called vesting, is essential. How the real estate will be handled in the event of the owner’s severe disability or death is essential to be reduced to writing so there is no doubt to a judge or government official who the successor owner or conservator is. If you don’t put it in writing now, a judge or legal convention will decide, and that may not be what you intend.
There’s so much to be said about agreements that applies to virtually every aspect of social interaction. In the United States we often call it “The Rule Of Law”. No one is above the law, we like to say. When the law is unfair our unjust, it needs to be changed.
When someone violates the law there are supposed to be consequences and legal remedies. Ethics – doing the right thing – we can rightly assume is the basis of fair and just law and law enforcement. Agreements. Something to think about.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
Agreements
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
One of the interesting things about my work as a real estate agent is, the people I serve are almost always making an important change in their lives. A big part of my job is to help them through these changes. They are starting a new job or career, retirement, someone has died or is going die soon, divorce, mental or physical decline, a new baby, taking care of a friend or relative, tenants have to let strangers look through their home which is about to be sold, a client may be very ill and/or needing to downsize. There are so many things that spur change, and those changes are usually accompanied by agreements.
Part of my job is to help people come to agreement.
Back in the mid 1980’s I helped to manage hospice facilities for AIDS patients. The agreement there was that I and others would be there with the people we cared for, to provide a safe place to live right up through their death. I also helped people begin to deal with their grief as their love ones died.
In my job as a real estate agent I help people come to agreement. We call it “a meeting of the minds”. An interesting phrase because it implies give and take, accepting change and other peoples’ needs as well as your own.
As an agent I help people reduce their agreements and changes, to writing. Sales agreements are contracts, agreements to do and not do specific things. How the change will happen and who does what is spelled out in the written agreement. Part of this agreement is how people will deal with things when they don’t agree, disputes. Mediation, arbitration and even law suits are part of the process at times. Most often, common sense prevails and parties come to agreement without these outside processes.
I deal most often with Purchase Agreements and Listing Agreements, having to do usually with homes and land also known as real estate, as opposed to personal property. Real Estate is commonly understood to be the land and that which is attached to it, normally buildings, but can also mean crops, water, roadways and easements. There’s another aspect to real estate called “the bundle of rights” which are the legal aspects of ownership of real property.
Real estate law is a specialized area in the practice of law. Some attorneys specialize only in real estate issues, while other attorneys know very little, if anything, about real estate law and its related issues.
One issue that comes up from time-to-time is when people made agreements years ago to buy land or a home together, but didn’t put in writing, the legal details about how those verbal agreements would work. I’ve heard clients say that “making it legal” implied lack of trust, therefore they didn’t “put it in writing”. But you know, it’s not a lack of trust, it’s just making things clear for yourself and each other.
Good business avoids problems and hurt feelings years later. People change. That’s unavoidable. Sometimes the real estate has to be sold because those partners are moving in different directions with their lives.
In California, which often leads the way in laws that other states later recognize as practical, all real estate sales must be in writing. Oral or verbal real estate agreements are not considered binding normally. I say normally, because sometimes a court of law can make decisions that can force legal remedies on unwritten real estate matters, things such as prescriptive rights.
I’m not qualified to provide legal advice so if you need help with legal issues please consult a qualified professional.
Tragically, there are situations where one person’s name was put on the Deed leaving another deserving party off. A deed is legal proof of who the owner(s) is/are. There may be an unmarried partner or others who contributed and are entitled to a share of the property, but their name wasn’t put in a written agreement. I know of cases where an unmarried partner was thrown out of their own home by distant relatives just because the detail of putting the partner in a will or trust or deed as the inheritor of the house was forgotten. Always prepare a will and/or trust if you own real estate. Also consider a written Partnership Agreement of some kind to clarify the agreement further, signed by all effected parties. It’s so important.
Putting in writing who owns the property and in what legal manner, sometimes called vesting, is essential. How the real estate will be handled in the event of the owner’s severe disability or death is essential to be reduced to writing so there is no doubt to a judge or government official who the successor owner or conservator is. If you don’t put it in writing now, a judge or legal convention will decide, and that may not be what you intend.
There’s so much to be said about agreements that applies to virtually every aspect of social interaction. In the United States we often call it “The Rule Of Law”. No one is above the law, we like to say. When the law is unfair our unjust, it needs to be changed.
When someone violates the law there are supposed to be consequences and legal remedies. Ethics – doing the right thing – we can rightly assume is the basis of fair and just law and law enforcement. Agreements. Something to think about.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
MY BUDDY
REAL ESTATE JOURNAL
MY BUDDY
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
When I was four years old my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Bill gave my sister and I our pick of the litter of their champion breed sable collies. We called her Princess. She was not only a magnificently beautiful dog, but smart, loyal and loving. I loved her too. No matter what, she was there. She was my best friend. I still have a picture in my home office of me in my cowboy outfit with my hand resting on Princess.
When we moved for my dad’s work I was told we couldn’t take Princess with us. It was traumatic for me. She was given to my Uncle Kenneth to live on his farm. Some months later when I begged to go visit her I was told that she had gotten into some rat poison and had died. To this day I remember her and love her. What a terrible end to my best friend.
Pets are sometimes the forgotten ones. People don’t always think it through when they get a cat or dog or other non-human companion, about caring for and living with that little one for its entire life. Since most pets have much shorter lifespans than humans, they teach us the stages of life and the accompanying changes right up through death. Quite a gift when you think about it.
They don’t remain cute puppies or playful kittens for long. They go through those “teen-age years” just like humans. They grow old and need special care, special food. They need love like any human animal does. They need a good home.
It seems unnecessary to say this but animals are sentient beings. They’re not just things that can be neglected or ignored. When one welcomes a pet into their life, that animal becomes a part of the family. If you don’t see your pet as a part of the family that you care for just as you would yourself and your other loved ones, you should not get a pet.
Landlords often don’t want pets in their rented house because of the damage a neglected pet can cause. If you’re a renter, you really have to think before getting a pet. The cat or dog that is left outside in all kinds of weather without good shelter is being abused.
To see a dog locked in a small pet makes me angry. The only place I can see that as humane is at the Humane Society, where the animals are looked after, loved and cared for as those wonderful people try to find good homes for those little ones. By the way, that a very good reason to donate generously to the Humane Society of Inland Mendocino County, or your other local Humane Society.
There is much scientific research about pets. Several studies have found that children raised with pets often grow up less likely to develop allergies. I’ve lived with a dog or cat, and often both, most of my life. There was a time when going to school after high school and then beginning my adult life when I couldn’t have a pet. Maybe that was good because I was so busy learning how to create a life on my own that I needed to concentrate on that.
Joe and I have had many dogs and some cats over the last 40 years. Each one a beloved member of the family.
As many humans know, their non-human companion is essential to their own emotional well-being. That cat curled up on your lap as you pet it actually has a physiologic calming effect releasing endorphins. That dog curled up nearby that needs a walk a couple of times a day, reminds us of the need to exercise and get for a walk too.
Pets remind us of our humanity. When an animal is mistreated, the abuser has an emotional or mental problem. The animal should be removed from that situation and a new, loving home found for it. People who mistreat animals are exhibiting signs of mental illness. That person needs help. That’s one of the lessons these unselfish creatures help to teach us.
Just like mistreated humans, mistreated animals can exhibit antisocial behavior. Those animals need help too. That behavior may not always be correctable. I’m not an expert on how to do that. I’ve always loved and treated my many pets over the years with love and respect. I’ve never had a “problem animal”.
Adopted animals may need extra attention. Be prepared to give extra love and care to that animal. You have to know that their life has had its trauma. The lesson here is, sometimes you need to learn to love yourself in order to give love to others. Loving, kind behavior can be a learning process. Kindness is healthy. That’s what my buddies have taught me.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty inc.
MY BUDDY
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
When I was four years old my Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Bill gave my sister and I our pick of the litter of their champion breed sable collies. We called her Princess. She was not only a magnificently beautiful dog, but smart, loyal and loving. I loved her too. No matter what, she was there. She was my best friend. I still have a picture in my home office of me in my cowboy outfit with my hand resting on Princess.
When we moved for my dad’s work I was told we couldn’t take Princess with us. It was traumatic for me. She was given to my Uncle Kenneth to live on his farm. Some months later when I begged to go visit her I was told that she had gotten into some rat poison and had died. To this day I remember her and love her. What a terrible end to my best friend.
Pets are sometimes the forgotten ones. People don’t always think it through when they get a cat or dog or other non-human companion, about caring for and living with that little one for its entire life. Since most pets have much shorter lifespans than humans, they teach us the stages of life and the accompanying changes right up through death. Quite a gift when you think about it.
They don’t remain cute puppies or playful kittens for long. They go through those “teen-age years” just like humans. They grow old and need special care, special food. They need love like any human animal does. They need a good home.
It seems unnecessary to say this but animals are sentient beings. They’re not just things that can be neglected or ignored. When one welcomes a pet into their life, that animal becomes a part of the family. If you don’t see your pet as a part of the family that you care for just as you would yourself and your other loved ones, you should not get a pet.
Landlords often don’t want pets in their rented house because of the damage a neglected pet can cause. If you’re a renter, you really have to think before getting a pet. The cat or dog that is left outside in all kinds of weather without good shelter is being abused.
To see a dog locked in a small pet makes me angry. The only place I can see that as humane is at the Humane Society, where the animals are looked after, loved and cared for as those wonderful people try to find good homes for those little ones. By the way, that a very good reason to donate generously to the Humane Society of Inland Mendocino County, or your other local Humane Society.
There is much scientific research about pets. Several studies have found that children raised with pets often grow up less likely to develop allergies. I’ve lived with a dog or cat, and often both, most of my life. There was a time when going to school after high school and then beginning my adult life when I couldn’t have a pet. Maybe that was good because I was so busy learning how to create a life on my own that I needed to concentrate on that.
Joe and I have had many dogs and some cats over the last 40 years. Each one a beloved member of the family.
As many humans know, their non-human companion is essential to their own emotional well-being. That cat curled up on your lap as you pet it actually has a physiologic calming effect releasing endorphins. That dog curled up nearby that needs a walk a couple of times a day, reminds us of the need to exercise and get for a walk too.
Pets remind us of our humanity. When an animal is mistreated, the abuser has an emotional or mental problem. The animal should be removed from that situation and a new, loving home found for it. People who mistreat animals are exhibiting signs of mental illness. That person needs help. That’s one of the lessons these unselfish creatures help to teach us.
Just like mistreated humans, mistreated animals can exhibit antisocial behavior. Those animals need help too. That behavior may not always be correctable. I’m not an expert on how to do that. I’ve always loved and treated my many pets over the years with love and respect. I’ve never had a “problem animal”.
Adopted animals may need extra attention. Be prepared to give extra love and care to that animal. You have to know that their life has had its trauma. The lesson here is, sometimes you need to learn to love yourself in order to give love to others. Loving, kind behavior can be a learning process. Kindness is healthy. That’s what my buddies have taught me.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty inc.
STILLNESS
Real Estate Journal
STILLNESS
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
I just finished reading travel writer, Pico Iyer’s book The Art of Stillness – Adventures in Going Nowhere. He wrote this profoundly life-affirming book short so it can be read in one sitting if you want. In my case, I read it over several days to savor and absorb the message. As Mr Iyer says “In an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.”
Since my profession for nearly 30 years has been helping people sell and buy homes, I often think about what a “home” actually is. It’s certainly more than “real estate”, something attached to the Earth.
A home has as many different concepts as there are people. Ultimately, I suppose, it’s a kind of shelter. For some home is a card board box. For others a home is a sprawling multimillion dollar, big “something” that fits their ego needs. For most of us it’s something in between. All are shelter. What if a home is something more? What if it’s inside oneself? Of course it is to some extent inside you. Where do you feel sheltered?
Getting back to stillness, Mr Iyer points out the obvious. Most of us are connected virtually all the time in this new “electronic age”. Recently, on the very popular National Public Radio program Fresh Air hosted by Terry Gross, guest Geoffrey A. Fowler technology columnist for the Washington Post was interviewed. His research revealed how our electronic “personal assistants” such as Apple’s Siri and Google’s Alexa are actually listening to you all the time! Spying. They can even record what’s going on in the privacy of your home, car and other places, even when you are asleep!
We already know that everything you do on the internet, every phone conversation and text are recorded in some electronic database, but did you know that many of the apps you load onto your computer and smart phone also track, literally, your location and listen in on you? There are even devises like thermostats in your home that record when someone walks past it. Your wireless phone, computer and some security systems are also microphones and even cameras that allow those with the technology to hear and see what you are doing in your home!
Am I just paranoid or is this real? It’s real.
The Art of Stillness reveals that many technology CEO’s and developers take times when they “disconnect” because they realize that being connected all the time can make them crazy. I have felt that way myself, so I don’t stay connected all the time. My “smart phone” makes little beeps and boops that alert me when someone has sent me a message, often junk. I just don’t want to be connect that much. It’s not healthy.
Catholic monk writer and mystic, Thomas Merton, near the end of his life in the monastery, moved to an even more remote cabin far away from the main complex and even found that his remote cabin didn’t offer him the stillness he desired. There were no cell phones or personal computers in Merton’s day. His home was an attempt to go deeper inside on a more contemplative, spiritual journey. That journey doesn’t have to be religious. It’s a personal need to answer that, perhaps unanswerable question, “Why do I exist?”
I seldom listen to the “news” anymore because it’s become a grandstand for some truly evil people, at times, that just disturb my peace of mind. Media has become a tool to manufacture desire, fear and thoughts for stuff we don’t need in order to be human or happy. I have never joined Facebook because I read their 70+ page “privacy policy” which basically says when you use Facebook you have no privacy. It's my understanding that everything you do on it, and every “friend” you put on it, is recorded by the company and your personal information sold and used to create a profit center for the company. As I understand it, you even give them permission to look into unrelated files in your computer. Hope I wrong about that. Unless it’s changed, that’s what you agree to when you click “I Agree”!
Stillness has a strong appeal for me. I’m currently reading a biography of the great 20th century artist, Williem de Kooning. It’s reminding me why art, all of the arts, are so essential to survival and maintaining freedom. Why do you think the arts are the first thing that governments and some corporate elites want eliminated from our schools? Art teaches independent thinking. Ironically, the creative process, the arts, also teach us how to invent and problem solve.
In my opinion if you want to know who wants to destroy the concept of “Liberty and Justice for All” just look at the membership of the organization American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC). In my opinion, it’s a short-list of those who despise the foundation of
the United States of America, freedom. They’re doing a very effective job of reaching their goal. Trying to force you to think the way they do. It’s easier to rob you of your freedom if you don’t think for yourself.
Stillness is really quite revolutionary. Disconnecting is a revolution. Is it possible? I don’t know, perhaps selectively. That’s something we, as a society have to think about. Perhaps we can identify the legislators and people in politics that create legislation that helps us maintain Equal Protection Under the Law.
You’re not “making a statement” when you choose not to vote. You just prevent democracy from working. That’s your choice. If you let organizations like the sinister, in my opinion, ALEC decide for you you may not have a place to call home.
Read The Art of Stillness, or tune into Pico Iyer on YouTube. You may find answers, even home, in Stillness. Something to think about.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
STILLNESS
By Bill Barksdale, GRI Realtor®
I just finished reading travel writer, Pico Iyer’s book The Art of Stillness – Adventures in Going Nowhere. He wrote this profoundly life-affirming book short so it can be read in one sitting if you want. In my case, I read it over several days to savor and absorb the message. As Mr Iyer says “In an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.”
Since my profession for nearly 30 years has been helping people sell and buy homes, I often think about what a “home” actually is. It’s certainly more than “real estate”, something attached to the Earth.
A home has as many different concepts as there are people. Ultimately, I suppose, it’s a kind of shelter. For some home is a card board box. For others a home is a sprawling multimillion dollar, big “something” that fits their ego needs. For most of us it’s something in between. All are shelter. What if a home is something more? What if it’s inside oneself? Of course it is to some extent inside you. Where do you feel sheltered?
Getting back to stillness, Mr Iyer points out the obvious. Most of us are connected virtually all the time in this new “electronic age”. Recently, on the very popular National Public Radio program Fresh Air hosted by Terry Gross, guest Geoffrey A. Fowler technology columnist for the Washington Post was interviewed. His research revealed how our electronic “personal assistants” such as Apple’s Siri and Google’s Alexa are actually listening to you all the time! Spying. They can even record what’s going on in the privacy of your home, car and other places, even when you are asleep!
We already know that everything you do on the internet, every phone conversation and text are recorded in some electronic database, but did you know that many of the apps you load onto your computer and smart phone also track, literally, your location and listen in on you? There are even devises like thermostats in your home that record when someone walks past it. Your wireless phone, computer and some security systems are also microphones and even cameras that allow those with the technology to hear and see what you are doing in your home!
Am I just paranoid or is this real? It’s real.
The Art of Stillness reveals that many technology CEO’s and developers take times when they “disconnect” because they realize that being connected all the time can make them crazy. I have felt that way myself, so I don’t stay connected all the time. My “smart phone” makes little beeps and boops that alert me when someone has sent me a message, often junk. I just don’t want to be connect that much. It’s not healthy.
Catholic monk writer and mystic, Thomas Merton, near the end of his life in the monastery, moved to an even more remote cabin far away from the main complex and even found that his remote cabin didn’t offer him the stillness he desired. There were no cell phones or personal computers in Merton’s day. His home was an attempt to go deeper inside on a more contemplative, spiritual journey. That journey doesn’t have to be religious. It’s a personal need to answer that, perhaps unanswerable question, “Why do I exist?”
I seldom listen to the “news” anymore because it’s become a grandstand for some truly evil people, at times, that just disturb my peace of mind. Media has become a tool to manufacture desire, fear and thoughts for stuff we don’t need in order to be human or happy. I have never joined Facebook because I read their 70+ page “privacy policy” which basically says when you use Facebook you have no privacy. It's my understanding that everything you do on it, and every “friend” you put on it, is recorded by the company and your personal information sold and used to create a profit center for the company. As I understand it, you even give them permission to look into unrelated files in your computer. Hope I wrong about that. Unless it’s changed, that’s what you agree to when you click “I Agree”!
Stillness has a strong appeal for me. I’m currently reading a biography of the great 20th century artist, Williem de Kooning. It’s reminding me why art, all of the arts, are so essential to survival and maintaining freedom. Why do you think the arts are the first thing that governments and some corporate elites want eliminated from our schools? Art teaches independent thinking. Ironically, the creative process, the arts, also teach us how to invent and problem solve.
In my opinion if you want to know who wants to destroy the concept of “Liberty and Justice for All” just look at the membership of the organization American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC). In my opinion, it’s a short-list of those who despise the foundation of
the United States of America, freedom. They’re doing a very effective job of reaching their goal. Trying to force you to think the way they do. It’s easier to rob you of your freedom if you don’t think for yourself.
Stillness is really quite revolutionary. Disconnecting is a revolution. Is it possible? I don’t know, perhaps selectively. That’s something we, as a society have to think about. Perhaps we can identify the legislators and people in politics that create legislation that helps us maintain Equal Protection Under the Law.
You’re not “making a statement” when you choose not to vote. You just prevent democracy from working. That’s your choice. If you let organizations like the sinister, in my opinion, ALEC decide for you you may not have a place to call home.
Read The Art of Stillness, or tune into Pico Iyer on YouTube. You may find answers, even home, in Stillness. Something to think about.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
PHONE HOME
Real Estate Journal
PHONE HOME
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
“Phone Home” the stranded visitor from another planet says in the movie E.T. The extra-terrestrial is sheltered and loved by the children who find it and care for it and protect it from adults who want to find and study it, even kill it. The extra-terrestrial understands the protection and even love of these children, but wants to be with its own kind again. When it learns about telephones ET invents a way to phone home, to let its fellow creatures know it’s still alive and needs their help to get home.
What is “home”? If this gets to woo-woo for you then you can choose to stop reading now. My column is often written with both the left and right sides of my brain. You can get the nuts and bolts of real estate from others or come and sit with me in my office and I can explain contracts, inspections, escrow and title matters with you there, as I’ve been doing for nearly 30 years.
“Home” in real estate is usually a house. I’ve helped thousands of people with their housing matters over the years and continue to, but there is a more expansive concept of “home” too.
Recently I heard a scientist who studies the Earth as an ecosystem, a unified whole, interviewed. Her research has shown that Earth is much more akin to another movie, Avatar. Her studies have documented that life on our planet is literally connected. The plant life is connected and actually communicates and feels. We, as living creatures are connected and our intuition is our guide and in some way, our connection. When you ignore your feeling of what is right, deep down inside, you ignore life itself.
If that is true then there is an awesome respect one must have for our home planet. I recently got a DVD from the library about the Hubble space telescope. The Hubble has given us humans the awe-inspiring ability to look out into space, what happened millions even billions of light years ago. With its filters and electronics and lens it can literally see galaxies forming. It can zero in on other galaxies and planets.
One thing Hubble has not yet seen is another planet like Earth, our home. They may be out there, but even with its amazing abilities to send us information and views of what’s beyond our home, we still haven’t seen another life-sustaining planet – not life as we know it at least.
Why am I talking about this in a real estate column? As I’ve said many times before the Realtor® Code of Ethics begins with “Under all is the land”. Our planet’s life-sustaining land, and I might add waters and air.
When we don’t respect the land and our vast oceans and bodies of water, when we don’t respect the vegetation and fellow life forms, when we pollute with chemicals and plastics and mow down the forests and other plant life – we literally destroy our Home. Hubble has shown us that, as far as we know, Earth is unique. If there is anything else out there even remotely like our home, Earth, we’ve have no evidence of it. Even as the Hubble looks back in time, given the speed of light, 186,282 miles per second, it has never detected another Earth-like planet.
To those who can’t think beyond their own short lifetime and think nothing of creating and wasting plastic, creating and spraying toxic chemicals, dumping oil on the ground, polluting the water and the air – I can only say “You are an idiot, at best very ignorant”. You are contributing to the destruction of the only place that we know of in the universe that can sustain life as we know it. When our world’s governments and politicians and those irresponsible scientists and financiers and just plain folks, destroy Earth – how do they expect there to be a place for future life to exist?
What about the children of today and generations to come, what kind of place will they have to live? Every drop of toxic chemical, every piece of plastic or nuclear waste buried, adds up to nothing less than death. You might say to yourself, “Well there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just one person and the problem is too big for me to have an impact.”
Let me say that you vote with your dollars and actions. We all do. If we cut back and then stop buying and using the chemicals and plastic packaging and products that kill – things will change. Market forces will demand needed change. There is a proven, documented web of life on planet Earth. However much you may see yourself as having no meaningful impact on that web of life, you and future generations will only survive if you – personally – make responsible decisions that affirm life.
If you hate yourself and our shared home, you can choose to change that thought. When you change and respect yourself and this place we call home, you make a difference. When we do it in mass, we have an even greater impact, but it begins with you and your personal choices and actions.
Will we have a place to “phone home” if we let others or even ourselves put short-term profits before life itself? I’ll answer that question for you. Of course not. So start now making responsible choices. Every drop of loving, responsible action makes a difference. Soon those drops create an ocean of life, a web of life instead of a path of destruction. The choice you personally make each moment of your life is a step on the path.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
PHONE HOME
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
“Phone Home” the stranded visitor from another planet says in the movie E.T. The extra-terrestrial is sheltered and loved by the children who find it and care for it and protect it from adults who want to find and study it, even kill it. The extra-terrestrial understands the protection and even love of these children, but wants to be with its own kind again. When it learns about telephones ET invents a way to phone home, to let its fellow creatures know it’s still alive and needs their help to get home.
What is “home”? If this gets to woo-woo for you then you can choose to stop reading now. My column is often written with both the left and right sides of my brain. You can get the nuts and bolts of real estate from others or come and sit with me in my office and I can explain contracts, inspections, escrow and title matters with you there, as I’ve been doing for nearly 30 years.
“Home” in real estate is usually a house. I’ve helped thousands of people with their housing matters over the years and continue to, but there is a more expansive concept of “home” too.
Recently I heard a scientist who studies the Earth as an ecosystem, a unified whole, interviewed. Her research has shown that Earth is much more akin to another movie, Avatar. Her studies have documented that life on our planet is literally connected. The plant life is connected and actually communicates and feels. We, as living creatures are connected and our intuition is our guide and in some way, our connection. When you ignore your feeling of what is right, deep down inside, you ignore life itself.
If that is true then there is an awesome respect one must have for our home planet. I recently got a DVD from the library about the Hubble space telescope. The Hubble has given us humans the awe-inspiring ability to look out into space, what happened millions even billions of light years ago. With its filters and electronics and lens it can literally see galaxies forming. It can zero in on other galaxies and planets.
One thing Hubble has not yet seen is another planet like Earth, our home. They may be out there, but even with its amazing abilities to send us information and views of what’s beyond our home, we still haven’t seen another life-sustaining planet – not life as we know it at least.
Why am I talking about this in a real estate column? As I’ve said many times before the Realtor® Code of Ethics begins with “Under all is the land”. Our planet’s life-sustaining land, and I might add waters and air.
When we don’t respect the land and our vast oceans and bodies of water, when we don’t respect the vegetation and fellow life forms, when we pollute with chemicals and plastics and mow down the forests and other plant life – we literally destroy our Home. Hubble has shown us that, as far as we know, Earth is unique. If there is anything else out there even remotely like our home, Earth, we’ve have no evidence of it. Even as the Hubble looks back in time, given the speed of light, 186,282 miles per second, it has never detected another Earth-like planet.
To those who can’t think beyond their own short lifetime and think nothing of creating and wasting plastic, creating and spraying toxic chemicals, dumping oil on the ground, polluting the water and the air – I can only say “You are an idiot, at best very ignorant”. You are contributing to the destruction of the only place that we know of in the universe that can sustain life as we know it. When our world’s governments and politicians and those irresponsible scientists and financiers and just plain folks, destroy Earth – how do they expect there to be a place for future life to exist?
What about the children of today and generations to come, what kind of place will they have to live? Every drop of toxic chemical, every piece of plastic or nuclear waste buried, adds up to nothing less than death. You might say to yourself, “Well there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m just one person and the problem is too big for me to have an impact.”
Let me say that you vote with your dollars and actions. We all do. If we cut back and then stop buying and using the chemicals and plastic packaging and products that kill – things will change. Market forces will demand needed change. There is a proven, documented web of life on planet Earth. However much you may see yourself as having no meaningful impact on that web of life, you and future generations will only survive if you – personally – make responsible decisions that affirm life.
If you hate yourself and our shared home, you can choose to change that thought. When you change and respect yourself and this place we call home, you make a difference. When we do it in mass, we have an even greater impact, but it begins with you and your personal choices and actions.
Will we have a place to “phone home” if we let others or even ourselves put short-term profits before life itself? I’ll answer that question for you. Of course not. So start now making responsible choices. Every drop of loving, responsible action makes a difference. Soon those drops create an ocean of life, a web of life instead of a path of destruction. The choice you personally make each moment of your life is a step on the path.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc. He can be reached at 707-489-2232, bark@pacific.net
DEMENTIA
REAL ESTATE JOURNAL
DEMENTIA
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
Where was she? Her husband walked into the livingroom and switched on the light. There she was, sitting in the dark, a lost look on her face. She knew something was changing and she was scared, confused and feeling alone. Even with a caring partner or caretaker near, dementia is a lonely journey. My mother, in her 90’s, was in the beginning stages of a type of dementia.
There are a number of types of dementing illnesses, but the one we hear about most often is Alzheimer. Dementia is a brain disease. There is no commonly agreed cause identified by science at this time, and it is generally thought that there is currently no cure. Some professionals argue that smoking, which robs the body and brain of oxygen, exacerbates this and other disease processes. As the brain changes and the disease inevitably progresses, so do the person’s abilities and personality.
I’m not a medical professional so if you suspect you or someone you care about may have dementia, consult a qualified professional who is experienced and trained to diagnose and help people with this disease. It’s a journey for both caretaker and patient.
Dementia is a huge, complex topic and a short article can only touch the topic. Really, everyone would be well advised to learn more about it. It will likely touch your life at some point if it hasn’t already. This disease is a slow process.
Where can you go to learn more? Although only recently published, Dr Tia Powell’s book, Dementia Reimagined: Building a Life of Joy and Dignity from Beginning to End, is already a best seller. The Alzheimer’s Association has chapters all over the county. Their referral toll-free number is 1-800-272-3900. Their web page is www.alz.org. The U.S. Administration on Aging can help you find your local help line. Use the Eldercare Search Line (http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp) or call toll free 1-800-677-1116. There is a lot of information on the internet. Locally you can try the Willits Seniors Inc. 459-6826, or Adult Protective Services 459-2889 - to try locating local resources.
I work with many older people in my career and have client family members, friends and relatives with dementia. I’ve had to begin educating myself.
As the brain changes things don’t make sense to the person anymore. They become confused, memory loss progresses, the person often becomes incontinent and adult diapers that are changed regularly are a must when this happens. The patient commonly develops a fear of bathing so they need help with their hygiene, including using the toilet. People they’ve known for a long time, even family members are no longer recognized. The person can become argumentative. That person is frightened.
You cannot reason with a person suffering from dementia because they can no longer process “reason”. Familiar surroundings become important. They often become desperate to find some sort of security. That may mean something different to the patient than it does to you. Don’t argue. Let me repeat – Don’t Argue with them. Find a way to agree, even if you don’t. Pivot and try to change the subject if you can. They’re frightened. They need comfort. The familiar is no longer familiar. When they get angry, your anger is not a helpful response. That’s a hard one for caretakers, but necessary to learn.
One dear friend of mine will wear nothing but red clothes now. We don’t argue with her. We’ve just gotten her a lot of red clothes. That makes her happy.
THE CARE TAKER Not giving medical advice here, but things to ask professionals and think about. My friend and In Home Support Services (IHSS) caretaker, Betty Riddle, was kind enough to talk with me. A few important points she made were: Learn to control your emotions. Don’t get defensive, it’s not personal. Part of the patient is still there, but part is gone. The caretaker has to help the patient preserve personal dignity.
Family members need help. Patients can be verbally abusive, rarely physically abusive but don’t turn your back on the patient. If the patient becomes violent call 911 or IHSS. Don’t hurt the patient. You’ve got to keep your cool. Behavior can change in a split second. Disease like urinary track infections or diabetes can exacerbate the behavior. Street drugs mixed with mental illness is very dangerous.
Caretakers need support, someone to talk with. It’s a stressful job. Learn how to breathe and count to 10 to cool down.
“Part of that person has died and they’re not coming back. You can’t sugar-coat that.” You have to take control of the situation and get help. There’s so much more that Betty talked about that I don’t have space to share. Educate yourself. That’s important.
From herbalist Donna D’Terra, herbs for brain health before dementia strikes. Gingko – Increases cerebral blood flow, powerful antioxidant & increases memory. Gota Kola – Specific for brain stress. Turmeric – Helps prevent formation of beta amyloid (implicated in Alzheimer’s). As always, consult your physician and do your own research. Herbs can interact with prescription drugs and effect different people in different ways so learn how to safely use them.
In closing a few personal opinions and thoughts. Draw up an Advance Directive before dementia or other illness strikes so your wishes will be followed. Also have other estate documents such as a Will and Trust. Also, let me ask you this question. What do you want your government to spend your tax dollars on, war or effective, affordable health care? Trillions are being spent on war every year. Is that what you really want? Let your representatives know.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc
DEMENTIA
By Bill Barksdale GRI Realtor®
Where was she? Her husband walked into the livingroom and switched on the light. There she was, sitting in the dark, a lost look on her face. She knew something was changing and she was scared, confused and feeling alone. Even with a caring partner or caretaker near, dementia is a lonely journey. My mother, in her 90’s, was in the beginning stages of a type of dementia.
There are a number of types of dementing illnesses, but the one we hear about most often is Alzheimer. Dementia is a brain disease. There is no commonly agreed cause identified by science at this time, and it is generally thought that there is currently no cure. Some professionals argue that smoking, which robs the body and brain of oxygen, exacerbates this and other disease processes. As the brain changes and the disease inevitably progresses, so do the person’s abilities and personality.
I’m not a medical professional so if you suspect you or someone you care about may have dementia, consult a qualified professional who is experienced and trained to diagnose and help people with this disease. It’s a journey for both caretaker and patient.
Dementia is a huge, complex topic and a short article can only touch the topic. Really, everyone would be well advised to learn more about it. It will likely touch your life at some point if it hasn’t already. This disease is a slow process.
Where can you go to learn more? Although only recently published, Dr Tia Powell’s book, Dementia Reimagined: Building a Life of Joy and Dignity from Beginning to End, is already a best seller. The Alzheimer’s Association has chapters all over the county. Their referral toll-free number is 1-800-272-3900. Their web page is www.alz.org. The U.S. Administration on Aging can help you find your local help line. Use the Eldercare Search Line (http://www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare/Public/Home.asp) or call toll free 1-800-677-1116. There is a lot of information on the internet. Locally you can try the Willits Seniors Inc. 459-6826, or Adult Protective Services 459-2889 - to try locating local resources.
I work with many older people in my career and have client family members, friends and relatives with dementia. I’ve had to begin educating myself.
As the brain changes things don’t make sense to the person anymore. They become confused, memory loss progresses, the person often becomes incontinent and adult diapers that are changed regularly are a must when this happens. The patient commonly develops a fear of bathing so they need help with their hygiene, including using the toilet. People they’ve known for a long time, even family members are no longer recognized. The person can become argumentative. That person is frightened.
You cannot reason with a person suffering from dementia because they can no longer process “reason”. Familiar surroundings become important. They often become desperate to find some sort of security. That may mean something different to the patient than it does to you. Don’t argue. Let me repeat – Don’t Argue with them. Find a way to agree, even if you don’t. Pivot and try to change the subject if you can. They’re frightened. They need comfort. The familiar is no longer familiar. When they get angry, your anger is not a helpful response. That’s a hard one for caretakers, but necessary to learn.
One dear friend of mine will wear nothing but red clothes now. We don’t argue with her. We’ve just gotten her a lot of red clothes. That makes her happy.
THE CARE TAKER Not giving medical advice here, but things to ask professionals and think about. My friend and In Home Support Services (IHSS) caretaker, Betty Riddle, was kind enough to talk with me. A few important points she made were: Learn to control your emotions. Don’t get defensive, it’s not personal. Part of the patient is still there, but part is gone. The caretaker has to help the patient preserve personal dignity.
Family members need help. Patients can be verbally abusive, rarely physically abusive but don’t turn your back on the patient. If the patient becomes violent call 911 or IHSS. Don’t hurt the patient. You’ve got to keep your cool. Behavior can change in a split second. Disease like urinary track infections or diabetes can exacerbate the behavior. Street drugs mixed with mental illness is very dangerous.
Caretakers need support, someone to talk with. It’s a stressful job. Learn how to breathe and count to 10 to cool down.
“Part of that person has died and they’re not coming back. You can’t sugar-coat that.” You have to take control of the situation and get help. There’s so much more that Betty talked about that I don’t have space to share. Educate yourself. That’s important.
From herbalist Donna D’Terra, herbs for brain health before dementia strikes. Gingko – Increases cerebral blood flow, powerful antioxidant & increases memory. Gota Kola – Specific for brain stress. Turmeric – Helps prevent formation of beta amyloid (implicated in Alzheimer’s). As always, consult your physician and do your own research. Herbs can interact with prescription drugs and effect different people in different ways so learn how to safely use them.
In closing a few personal opinions and thoughts. Draw up an Advance Directive before dementia or other illness strikes so your wishes will be followed. Also have other estate documents such as a Will and Trust. Also, let me ask you this question. What do you want your government to spend your tax dollars on, war or effective, affordable health care? Trillions are being spent on war every year. Is that what you really want? Let your representatives know.
Bill Barksdale was a 2016 inductee into the Realtor® Hall of Fame. He is an agent at Coldwell Banker Mendo Realty Inc
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