THE SCHOOL OF ROSIE

 

THE SCHOOL OF ROSIE

Bill Barksdale, Columnist

Recently the Universe reached out to me and presented me with a kind of miracle.  I was at Savings Bank and my old client and friend of many years, Henrietta Simonsson was there too.  Haven’t seen her for a while.  She happened to mention that she fosters dogs for the Humane Society of Inland Mendocino County and she had something to show me.  On her phone was a short video of a very cute little dog.  “Come here” she called on the video and this sweet tiny dog, a Chihuahua mix – black with big floppy ears ran toward the camera wagging her tail held up in a curly-cue. 

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh of delight.  “I’m fostering her.  She needs a forever home.  Want to adopt her?” Well, I’ve never had a small dog.  My beloved McNab died three-and-a-half years ago after a long happy life.  Didn’t think I’d ever have a dog again but suddenly I was thinking about it.  I showed the video to Joe and it was love at first video-sight.  I forwarded the video to my friend Gail and she emailed back “She’s got a ‘yes’ from me”. 

So, guess what?  Here I sit doing my morning writing with a sweet little bundle stretched out over my lap as I reach awkwardly with my pen over this little silky love-bug snuggled up warming herself on my belly and covering the bottom half of my ‘morning pages’ notebook.  I couldn’t be happier, truly.  We named her Rosie.

She was dumped during the night along with her pups at the Humane Society, caught on their security camera.  She’s about six years old per my friend and veterinarian, Chana.  When I was wavering about adopting her, Chana said matter-of-factly “Why wouldn’t you?  She’s healthy and you need a dog again.”  Chana knows me too well.

I’ve been somewhat down since our old cat, Rudi, died some months ago.  Haven’t been without a little one since.  A big hole in my life but I didn’t realize that was the cause of the low mood.  I can tell you that that dreariness has lifted.  My snuggly Rosie is better than any med. 

For one thing she helps me to quiet my mind and feel peaceful and loving.  She helps me to live in the moment, which after all is all one really has.  I’m not living in the past or worrying about the future.  I’m just here – now.  Being with Rosie and feeling good.  Yes, I can choose to feel fearful or lonely, but that’s not what I want.  Who would?  What I truly want, I have realized, is to be happy.

There is true inner strength in feeling happy.  Caring for her and choosing to be kind gets returned to me many times over.  I don’t know what her past was like, neglect likely.  After all, she’s somewhere around six and was never spayed, having pups that weren’t wanted either – and all of them dumped.  Why people don’t spay or neuter their pets is beyond me.  The Humane Society is at full capacity with dogs and cats that need loving homes.  I mean really – give me a break.  Spay and neuter.  There are even free clinics around town from time-to-time to do it at J.D. Redhouse and sometimes at Mendo Mill – so DO IT for shit sake!  Pardon my French, but really!

I keep learning every day.  That’s part of life’s journey.  I miss loved ones, human and not, that are gone or not near, but I’ve learned to feel gratitude along with the often inevitable sorrow and loss.  That’s OK.  I’m human, but I’ve come to realize that choosing to be happy can become a habit – just as choosing to be fearful or perpetually unhappy can become a habit.  Habits can be changed.  It’s always a choice, moment-to-moment. 

As Rosie curls up next to me she feels safe, we both feel happier.  Depression evaporates and a peaceful joy creeps in to fill the old unwanted spaces.  It’s said that Nature deplores a vacuum, so choosing affection is a decision of what to fill that void with, little-by-little; thought-by-thought.  Habits don’t change in a flash.  It takes deciding to change then doing it – catching that unhappy thought and then deciding to replace it with a ‘Rosie moment’ – searching for a thought that feels better. 

That little head just popped up.  I’m convinced she can read my mind and it’s not even a month yet.  Our animal companions are much more than we realize.  We share being ‘animals’ with them after all. They feel, they grieve, they love and they’re extremely intuitive.  We, as humans, are so much more than what we think we are.  Life is really a kind of tapestry.  We’re always adding a new stitch with every thought.  Sometimes we use the wrong color or we weave in something we don’t want, but that can always be redone.  Thoughts are the threads.  Like I learned from the late Louise Hay, “It’s only a thought and thoughts can be changed”. 

We’re taught what we ‘should’ think by all kinds of institutions and people.  There seems to be no shortage of people who tell you what to do – usually because it advantages them or because it’s what they “believe”.  We’re actually taught to not trust our own intuition.  What a wrong turn that is.  When you really listen to that inner voice, the loving one not the fearful one, you realize that it’s all inside you already.  Life is a school.  You may have heard that.  There’s an old saying “When the student is ready the teacher appears.”  Your own Intuition is the guiding light. 

Fear and anger are teachers, just like love and happiness.  Fear and anger are a path I am often faced with, especially these daze.  That’s the thread I choose to tear out. Boy is that hard sometimes.  The thought that feels better, and by that I mean happier, helps me to ‘right the ship’ to a better direction.  Mixed metaphors but you know what I mean. 

Rosie jumped up onto the bed last night.  She’s beginning to trust me more.  The fearful, abused little dog that first came into my life is opening up, feeling more confident.  Her fear is evaporating.  I like a cool bedroom and as it got a bit too cold this morning around 6 or 7, she suddenly burrowed under the covers.  She’s no dummy.  We all need to burrow under the covers sometimes when life gets too cold. 

One thing I’ve learned on my journey is, I don’t have to ‘like’ everyone.  It’s my journey after all.  Some people are really lost.  They don’t even love themselves.  I don’t want to invite that into my life.   Well, that’s something we’re taught too – to not trust our own selves.  Some people just aren’t a good fit.  It’s OK to not invite everybody in.  They have their own journey to travel.  Bon voyage. 

Louise Hay used to tell her students to look in the mirror and say “I love you”, every day.  Many people couldn’t do that.  They were taught that to say you love yourself is “egotistical” and wrong.  But love begins within.  Can’t truly love someone else if you can’t love yourself.  That’s a good thing, often not understood. 

If you think you might be interested in taking a dog for a walk occasionally at the Humane Society, or foster a dog or cat till it can find its forever home call HSIMC at 707-485-0123 or go to their site at mendohumanesociety.com.  They’re located at 9700 Uva Drive, Redwood Valley just off Hwy 101 between Willits & Ukiah. 

My own fog has lifted since Rosie came home – her forever home – she’s reminded me of the importance of choosing to be happy.  I must say, she’s a great teacher!