Learning Lessons

 

Learning Lessons

Bill Barksdale, Columnist

I just got off the phone with my dear old friend, Tessa, in the Bay Area.  We’ve been like beloved family for well over 45 years.  For a number of years we did theater together in the improvisational company we started together with another friend.  Improv theater is a kind of science as well as a craft and, if done well, an art.  Tessa went on to become a gifted teacher of grade school age children.  She often worked with challenging children.  When other teachers and parents didn’t know how to deal with their children they often went to Tessa.

Teaching can be an art.  It’s not always thought of like that, but when a teacher has sufficient empathy plus that something extra, that special gift – teaching becomes an art.  Tessa is a true artist.  She was as an acting partner and she is a teacher.  Even now, in her 70’s she still gets called to the classroom to teach not only children, but the teachers themselves. 

Theater is often thought of as a frivolous thing, one of the first to be cut when sports or other budget items need more money, but I can tell you from personal experience that learning the craft of acting and making theater is a skill that can serve one for the rest of their life.  Improv theater especially helps one to think on their feet, think fast.  In business and everyday life we are often called upon to make a quick, creative and “right” decision.  Few things teach this better than improvisation. 

Teaching, good teaching, is a craft and when done well – an art.  Think about it, children spend much of their waking time with teachers.  From kindergarten or even earlier, up through grade twelve or further we are with teachers much of the time.  Someone who knows how to excite a young person to learn is one of the most important influences in one’s life.  That, and loving parents.

One of the first things a client would often ask me about was “How are the local schools?”  Even people who didn’t have school age children often would ask this question.  Why?  Because, if you have children you want them to get a good start in life.  Not everyone goes on to college. College is not necessary to a good future but often some sort of specialized education is. 

I’m a big fan of Community College, but also of vocational training.  Many people learn useful, career skills through what is sometimes called vocational training.  As an example, there is a shortage of skilled workers for auto repair, construction, child care, plumbing – so many other job skills that can be taught in public school and on the job.  These can be lucrative careers.  One advantage of community college is, it’s affordable and flexible.  Often the skills learned in these ways create careers as good as a four-year college.

We tend to seriously underfund our school systems, and often spend more on sports programs than on the arts, which often open more job opportunities than sports.  I’m not knocking sports.  Learning team work, physical health, and leadership skills that are part of sports are all important.  The arts teach communication, creativity – so important in entrepreneurship and interpersonal relationships.  They work hand-in-hand, you see, as complimentary partners.

Back to my first point of the way something like theater teaches problem solving, empathy and communication which are so vital in effectively relating to others who need extra guidance and clarity. 

Tessa told me about a young boy who had severe behavioral issues.  No teacher knew how to deal with his behavior, nor did his parents.  He ended up in Tessa’s classroom.  She literally took him by the hand.  She told me a story of how she took him to lunch with her.  As she held his hand on the way to lunch he looked up at her and said “I don’t like you.”  She looked at him and said, “I don’t like you either” but she knew he didn’t really feel that way.  It’s just the devise he used to push people away because he didn’t want to be hurt.  They connected.

Despite what he just said, she was unfazed.  They had a good lunch together and over time his behavior changed.  He needed someone who would not be pushed away. Someone who demonstrated that she cared about him unconditionally.  That helped him to feel safe and OK.  The parents were so grateful with the change in his behavior that they hardly knew how to thank her.  Her remarkable empathy and skill literally changed this little boy’s life and that of his loving parents. 

A good teacher is one of early life’s greatest gifts.  We, as a society often undervalue teachers.  A bad, insensitive teacher is a curse.  I know that from experience, but many teachers that I experienced were special people that encouraged and cared about me.  I remember a teacher that would belittle students that didn’t meet her expectations.  It wasn’t the student.  It was the teacher who lacked the skills needed to help those students. 

Then there’s the home situation.  A child in a home with substance abuse, fighting parents, parents who are too busy to give that young child the love and attention that all children need – that child has a huge disadvantage.  There are some people who just should not have children.  Those adults often came from dysfunctional homes themselves and that’s all they know.  They’re not ready to have children and may never be.  Oh, if they would only recognize that they haven’t grown up themselves. 

I know many teachers.  One told me of a girl with bare midriff & short-shorts going over and sitting on some boy’s lap in class.  Some teachers often feel powerless to stop this behavior now days.  Why?  That’s a rotten learning situation.  And what kind of parent allows their child to go to school that way?  Kids are confused enough about sex these days.  Have we really devolved that much that that kind of behavior is considered OK?  If so I can only say, that stinks for both the kid and the learning environment.  The scope of education includes social behavior.  What kind of future can those kids expect?  Can they expect to get a good job or career looking like this in a work situation? 

Of course, there’s also bullying in school.  The bullies themselves are often the products of dysfunctional homes.  Our schools need to provide much better training to teachers and other school personnel in how to acknowledge which children are bullies and how to get to the bottom of that behavior.  If it’s a home situation, and that’s often where this type of behavior begins, that’s a touchy situation.  Bullying behavior needs to be proactively interrupted and stopped.    These kids need helpful and firm guidance.  Dealing with bullies is important for all school personnel and parents to take seriously. 

Let’s make proper funding of our schools a major priority.  Yes, tax dollars have many demands, but can you think of anything more important than our children?  Yes, there are many important issues that need those dollars and our attention as a society, but today’s children are literally the future.  Giving those children a good education and start in life is critical.

As far as where people choose to live, community and quality of life, fine schools are fundamental. 

Bill Barksdale was inducted into the 2016 Realtor® Hall of Fame, and served as Chair of the County of Mendocino Assessment Appeals Board settling property tax disputes between the County Assessor & citizens and businesses.  Read more of Bill’s columns on his blog at www.bbarksdale.com