Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

 

Who Knows Where the Time Goes?

Bill Barksdale, Columnist

I remember hearing Judy Collins recording of English songwriter/singer, Sandy Denny’s song, Who Knows Where the Time Goes.  I think it was 1968.  I had moved to New York City to go to school, a boy who had hardly ever been out of Oregon.  There was so much life packed into that five years in NYC, going to school and working, just growing up.  The world of international culture available at literally every turn.  Everything from Radio City Music Hall which was a movie theater at the time with a full Broadway-style stage show between every showing of the movie, featuring The Rockettes and a full symphony orchestra – to real Broadway shows that cost $2.25 for a balcony seat. 

Some of the world’s great museums where I was just a couple of feet away from the paintings of Picasso and Willem de Kooning, Gauguin, Van Gogh, Mark Rothko, so many others.  The New York City Opera and New York City Ballet were even more affordable with a balcony seat costing only $1.25.  The Joffrey Ballet season was always a big event as was Alvin Ailey Ballet.  We always got free tickets to the Martha Graham dance theater every season because she had started the dance department at my school.  I once followed dancer, Rudolph Nureyev through Central Park.  It was fairly common in NYC to see the most extraordinary people on the street or in the park. 

Later I moved to San Francisco which was a different experience.  It was the end of the hippie era and I first lived in a commune where a good friend from my high school lived with some of her classmates from Stanford.  Haight Street was only ½ block from our house.  As I walked through the Pan Handle off Golden Gate Park everyday there would be a group doing Tai Chi.  

I lived in S.F. for 15 years.  Moved there with a friend.  He was a prolific photographer.  We used to take our film to Castro Camera, Harvey Milk’s shop.  This was before Harvey became a gay activist.  We would just lean on the counter and chat as we dropped off rolls of film for processing.  I became the weekend breakfast cook at a well-known South of Market restaurant called Hamburger Mary’s.  I was the only cook and I could put out eggs, omelets, burgers – you name it – in minutes.  Still can’t stand slow service in a restaurant.

I started an improv theater group called On The Verge with my friends Tessa & Jeanine.  Lived in an artist’s warehouse cooperative called Project One.  Our loft space was so large that we had a small theater in it.  In S.F. I walked almost everywhere.  I was in great shape climbing those hills – and being young.  In the early 1980’s AIDS hit and I became a caregiver.  I never got it but I watched as almost an entire generation of young men died, including one of my best friends, whose hand I was holding as his eyes rolled up in his head and he died.  A real gut punch. 

Joe and I moved to our forest cabin in the redwoods outside Willits.  Isolated and quiet, I had to start a new life.  Our friend Jeanne gave me a Mendocino College catalogue and I took classes in real estate from Seiji Sugawara.  Seiji was a wonderful man.  He became a County Supervisor as I recall, but more than anything he was a teacher and activist.  “Give more than you take” he would say.  He certainly did that with his life.  He became a friend and would occasionally drop into my office to see how my career was going, a career he had introduced me to. 

Later I took a number of classes from Nash Gonzalez, classes like Urban Planning, Real Estate Finance and others.  Nash was a master-teacher.  I became fascinated by business law, easement law, and water law.  Who would have thought?  I remember taking a class in real estate case law in San Francisco taught by a team of real estate attorneys.  When the leader of the seminar asked “Is anyone here not an attorney?” I raised my hand.  Mine was the only hand raised in a room of nearly 100 people.  Learned a lot.

I always saw my job as a way to help people make transitions in their lives.  Goodness knows, I had made plenty in my life and knew something about that.  I would spend a lot of time listening to clients as they talked about their lives and the changes they were going through.  That’s often when someone goes to a real estate agent, when a big life change is happening. 

Often I heard a client say “This may sound like a stupid question but….”.  Let me say, there are pretty much No Stupid Questions when you are preparing to enter into a legal agreement and spend thousands of dollars.  For some reason we are often made to feel stupid if we don’t know everything, which of course no one does.  I always encouraged clients to ask every question they could think of regarding what we were doing.  We are all constantly learning.  Asking questions is part of the process. 

I was inspired to mention this because I heard of some home buyers who were encouraged to get an adjustable rate loan to purchase their house.  They were told it would “be no problem” to get that loan converted to a fixed-rate loan later on, and in the meantime it would be easier to qualify for a purchase loan with an adjustable.  As it turned out, getting a refi was a problem when the time came and they lost their home when the payment rose too high.  No one explained to them the ‘down side’. 

I suppose even the seemingly bad things that happen are ‘a learning process’.  Life is a learning process.  One of the lessons is ‘money isn’t everything’ in fact it’s often a distraction that keeps one from recognizing what is really important in life.  Some money is important to get along in our world, of course.  Sixteenth century English poet, Sir Edward Dyer said in his poem, My Mind To Me A Kingdom Is, said “Some have too much, yet still do crave; I little have, and seek no more.  They are but poor, though much they have, And I am rich with little store.” 

In our society today we are encouraged to buy, buy, buy.  In fact big business refers to people as “consumers”.  If a company doesn’t grow larger each and every year, it’s considered a failure.  What nonsense.  Growth and bigger profits are considered more important than making life better.  It’s but a few who profit monetarily, but they crave more. The latest software or phone has become more important than quality of life.  “Some have too much, yet still do crave”. 

Advertising & marketing are geared to inspiring ‘want’ where there is little or no need in order to improve quality of life.  Wait until you need to move and look at all you have collected but don’t need or even want, and certainly don’t want to pack up and take with you.  Our planet is choking on human debris.  “Tis a gift to be simple.”

All I have spoken about almost seems like it happened to someone else.  A 30 year career sometimes seems like a dream, one that am grateful to have lived though.  My youthful adventures were rich and exciting, but long ago.  I still get calls or visits from people with questions about how to navigate their latest life transition.  Life goes on.  It all goes by so quickly, yet I have little attachment.  Who knows where the time goes?

Bill Barksdale was inducted into the 2016 Realtor® Hall of Fame, and served as Chair of the County of Mendocino Assessment Appeals Board settling property tax disputes between the County Assessor & citizens and businesses.  Read more of Bill’s columns on his blog at www.bbarksdale.com